1) Use C3 Technology to play TeamFortress2 with my Lance.
2) Fire my PPC into the air and call it "fireworks"
3) Tell the ISF attache that the person I can't stand in my Lance is a Davion Spy
4) Refer to Pesht District Units as "Parade Units"
5) Ask any Rasahaugians in my Regiment if they know how to make swedish meatballs
6) Accuse the Quartermaster of being a Lyran spy because the ammo shipment was late
7) Attempt to perform a Tea Ceremony in my Thunderbolt

dull my commander's knife before he goes before a review committee.
9) False Flag as a Steiner Assault lance using only Mediums.
10) paint my mech in red bodysuit paint and call her Taki.
11) Call out my commander for stealing my kill.
____11a) Not that I'm implying you stole my kill sir. Please leave my other hand alone.
12) Hack into other lance's C3 systems
____12a) Especially not for cybersex
13) Scream "The Black Ship has come!" whenever an enemy dropship arrives.
14) Mouth off to anyone whose last name is Kurita.

15: Acting as a taxi for O5P/Nekakami operatives.
15b: Ditto, but for DEST operatives.
15c: Ditto, but with a mix of O5P, Nekakami, and DEST operatives at the same time.
16: Hang risqué pictures/paintings of Natasha Kerensky in my Cockpit.
16b: Ditto, but with Jasmine Isu in her younger years.
16c: Ditto, but with Tomoe Sakade in her younger years.
16d: Ditto, but with Omiko Kurita.
17: Yell "Shinpū Tokubetsu Kōgeki Tai!" over the external speakers while charging into battle.
17b: Yelling "Gyokusai!" instead.